I realized something about myself, this morning. I’ve NEVER been in the “immediate” circle of someone who’s had major health issues or experienced a long drawn out suffering death. I’ve had family members die; but, I’m not close to them. I didn’t see any of the “hard” stuff.
I don’t know how to handle what I’m in. I don’t know what to think about it. I know what I have to accept; and, I’m trying my hardest. I know that there’s a possibility that this individual will improve. Right now, that improvement is slow. Every day that passes, I feel like I lived another week.
I’m expecting myself to adapt to this change; and, I’m waiting for this situation to become my new normal. It doesn’t feel like a “good” or “bad” thing, but something that might actually feel easier.
Last night, I thought about conversation. I thought about friendship and support. I thought about what needs said and what I need to hear to feel better. Is that selfish? I don’t know, maybe! Right now, I don’t care. I know that I’m hurting and it sucks.
In my situation, I feel like such comments like ” He’s lucky to have you. You’ve been here for him since the beginning. ” And.” I am so proud of you for handling this so well. It’s tough but so are you.” Would sound so nice in this situation…. Where I feel worthlessly helpless. ” Support” is defined (well my definition) as uplifting, active listening to, and emotionally being available for someone. A goal in supporting a friend to make sure they don’t feel alone in the situation. It’s hearing this individual so you understand (to the best of your ability) them. It’s conversing with them about what their thoughts are, how they’re doing, and what ways can you help. I don’t think that’s selfish to want. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard parallel stories of others lives when I needed a friend to talk to.
Ok, that’s exhaustingly deep for my low caffeine and sleep levels. Please keep me and mine in prayer. Thank you!