If you were to have coffee with me, today, I’d share my frustration.
Every aspect of my life, every detail, centers around others. Yes, I do take time for myself. The majority of my life; however, is giving to others.
When I’m not doing OK, which is right now, I’m cleaning up spills. I’m cooking food my girls don’t care to eat. I’m changing a pull up or picking my daughter up from school. I’m running on endless cups of cold coffee, reminding the girls that food stays in the kitchen, and cleaning up more spills.
When I’m not chasing down the girls to have them stop running, I’m wiping hands, pouring drinks, snatching crayons so they’ll stop coloring my walls. I’m fighting my daughter’s school about something Ridiculous, cleaning up toys, cooking another meal, transporting them to the grocery store, getting them back to bed at 3am…
I’m putting time into the areas’ free little libraries, getting baths done, prepping for the night before, and every single other thing that ANY adult does for a child.
It’s just me… Except for the weekends. I’m thankful that I have that break; but kids are different with mom. I am exhausted… And frustrated from repeating myself. It’s frustrating that it’s just me…. It’s frustrating that I can’t have a two story place so I feel like I can breathe, without kids and mess under my feet constantly. I wish I had help so the girls’ fighting doesn’t piss me off.
I’m usually very good with handling my shit as a mom; but right now, I’m frustrated with all of it.